Full Frontal: People Think I’m a Slut

I thought our generation was supposed to be liberated. But, the fact remains our brains and libidos have been hard-wired to act the same way they did when we were all Encino Men.  So it’s difficult to have to face up to the fact, that even though I like to think that being sex-positive is awesome and empowering (for both females and males), there still exists that subconscious attitude that being open about sex as a female makes you a Sex-Crazy Nympho Dream Girl.

Almost every sexual action we pursue with someone is done from an evolutionary standpoint.  We’re attracted to people that look different than we do in order to ensure the gene pool will remain diverse.  The way a person smells to us will affect our attraction to them. The amount of clothes we where (or the color, cut, style, etc) all are done in an effort to essentially “peacock” to attract a mate — whether its for a night or for a lifetime. We maybe don’t think about it, but it happens. It makes sense that sometimes, dudes just like the women they’re interested in to act coy and playfully disinterested because they want to make sure that when the sex finally happens, it’s just for them.

Is slut-shaming hard-wired into evolution? Are girls who are open with their sexual feelings and desires with their partners (romantic and otherwise) going to be the ones left being always a bridesmaid and never a bride?  It seems male sexuality is allowed to be open and aggressive – in fact it’s inviting (after all, who doesn’t want a guy that’s always trying to impress and court them?). But for the ladies, being too open about sex runs the risk of being categorized as easy.

When is the right time to let your freak flag fly?  I’ve always shown it proudly from my stoop.  But it’s the moments when my father keeps nagging me about having a boyfriend (or inquires if I’m gay) that I think to myself, “Hmm … what is it that I’m doing wrong?”  To which, I automatically say, of course, “nothing.”  But it’s that little nagging feeling in the back of my mind.

But maybe it’s just me.  What do you guys think?  Do we unconsciously slut-shame?

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